Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize