you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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