It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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