NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize