Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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