Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize