That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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