omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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