I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize