i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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