Plan B is the new Plan A
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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