I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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