nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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