She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize