Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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