i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize