Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize