if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
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