also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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