he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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