I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize