im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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