He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
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noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
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I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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