like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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