This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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