An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize