he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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