I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
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i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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