there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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