I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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