You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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