Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize