You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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