Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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