dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
They took my balls.
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I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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