if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
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ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
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I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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