I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
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Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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