imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize