Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
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when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
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I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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