Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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