I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
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I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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