This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize