HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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