I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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