Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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