We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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