I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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