wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize