I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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