You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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